Marital Conflict – 5 Tips to a Successful Relationship

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Our marriage celebrant made a comment on our wedding day that has stayed with me ever since. He said, “It’s not about finding the right partner, it’s about being the right partner”. Sure, it certainly helps to have some chemistry and to know and admire their minds, but essentially what he was saying is this, it takes a certain amount of grit, determination and most of all, selflessness to truly enjoy a successful relationship. Those who are diligently searching for that perfect soul mate will ultimately become bitterly disappointed – every relationship, given enough time, will experience “Marital Conflict”.

Now we understand that all relationships experience marital conflict at some point, you can at least take comfort in knowing that it’s nothing to be ashamed about, because it is a natural by-product of a meaningful relationship.

In saying that however, you can take action to alleviate undue tension and begin moving toward a more successful relationship. In fact, by ingraining a few simple techniques into your life, your relationship can soar to heights unknown but by a few.

1. Clarity of Mind: Do not take for granted the benefits of a nutritious diet and regular exercise! ‘Healthy in body – healthy in mind’ is not an old wives tale. You will be surprised at how looking after these two major factors will influence your sleep, stress levels and over-all well-being. Take care of yourself and you’ll be better placed to look after your lover.
2. Empathize: While you may not necessarily agree with your partner’s viewpoint, try to understand where they are coming from and especially how they are feeling. While their words and actions have a huge affect on you, the same goes the other way.
3. Take Ownership: You have greater control over your own words and actions than you will have over your partners. Nevertheless, believe it when I say that you can provoke your partner to love or not by simply controlling those two very important factors. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
4. Conflict Resolution – Focus on a Solution: Break free from the old cycle of repetitive arguments. I refer to it as ‘collecting stamps’. Are you a stamp collector? Do you collect these little stamps of resentment and then keep rehashing them repeatedly when ever a little heat comes on? Make a conscious decision to let go of things of less importance and concentrate on resolving issues one at a time. Respond to certain aggravations – do not react. Look for attainable solutions to old problems and deal with them quickly when new ones arise.
5. Resolve to Love: Everyone has the ability and desire to love and to be – loved. It is innate in all of us. Hollywood, for the most part, has destroyed our perception of what true love really is. It is not meeting Mr or Miss Right and falling head over heals in lust and then displaying it in a heated moment of pleasure. Quite the contrary, true love is a giving of your very self until it hurts – without any intention of receiving something in return. While ‘true love’ might sound sanctimonious, the practice of it is not easy, but the benefits will change your life and relationship forever.

These five tips are by no means exhaustive, but even if you were to concentrate your efforts upon one of them, you will notice a significant change in your relationship. As you may have perceived, a lot of the emphasis is on you. Trying to train your partner without implementing any change in yourself, will only add fuel to the fire.

A couple of tools:

“The Magic of Making Up”

If you are serious about resolving excessive conflict in your relationship, then I recommend turning to JW Jackson. He is somewhat unorthodox in his approach, but is genuinely concerned for people going through real trials in their relationships. He has been able to help literally thousands of folks work through some tough issues. His little e-book “The Magic of Making Up” is a great place to start in your quest for, not only resolving marital conflict, but also moving quickly towards a successful relationship.

“The Fat Burning Furnace”

The health, nutrition and weight control industry would have you caught up in the multi-million dollar money making machine, because that’s exactly what it is – a money making machine. If you really want to learn how to look after yourself and your loved ones – burn fat without compromising the foods you love, then I would suggest looking into the “Fat Burning Furnace”.

I wish you every success.

Kev.

Making Relationships Work When My Hearts Grown Cold

If you are feeling or at least thinking, “my hearts grown cold” in our relationship, do not blame yourself (entirely). Making relationships work, requires some effort from both parties. The good news is you can rekindle the flame that once burned with passion for the one you thought you loved.

There are so many contributing factors to why your feelings change like the tides. It is also important to know that it is in fact a natural occurrence. Take comfort in knowing that you can work through these times and that your relationship is not doomed.

I know from experience that when a relationship *ripens, it becomes… well… a little stale.

*A ripened relationship differs from a mature one.

The following are 3 tips to put a bit of spice back into your relationship.

1. Take a break from the usual routine. Think back to when you first started dating. What did you guys do together? How long did it take you to get ready? Make a date and go to some effort in dressing up for it. Put an element of mystique into the occasion. Think of ways that might recapture a little of that excitement you once felt when you first started dating.
2. What’s your partner’s love language? Some people love receiving gifts. That speaks volumes into their hearts. Some couldn’t care less for gifts, but if you were to relieve them of a mundane chore or perform some random act of service, you would certainly reap the benefits. Others just enjoy a sensitive touch and quality time spent together. Okay… all of these things work together to increase intimacy and edify a relationship, but one will speak greater to certain individuals. Know you partners love language.
3. Have a grateful heart. Our lives are so busy these days to the point of being chaotic at times. One of the biggest relationship killers is not investing enough time just appreciating the small blessings we take for granted. Start looking for at least one thing, large or small, that you are thankful for in your partner. Then let them know what that is and how only they can fulfil that pleasure you get.

I hope that these 3 simple tips will empower you to gain back that passion you once shared with your loved one. Making relationships work, is well worth the effort – even if your hearts grown cold. Eventually, as your relationship matures, you and your partner will become the best of friends rather than roomies.

Go to www.magicofmakingup.com

If however, you are feeling desperate and need a little more help than what I have been able to provide here, then you may want to consider investing in “The Magic of Making Up”. JW Jackson’s small, but informative e-book, imparts a wealth of worldly wisdom that is necessary for really understanding the complexities of relationships.

Here’s to your success.

Kev.

Problems in Relationships

What is one of the main reasons for problems in relationships? I’ll give you two:

1. Lack of appreciation.
2. Lack of understanding.

When you no longer appreciate each other, the romance is gone! You feel like you’re the only one contributing anything to the relationship and you’re basically wasting your time. No matter how hard you try to educate your partner into understanding your frustration, you end up hitting a wall, or worse, a terrible argument ensues.

Suddenly you find yourself wondering whether it is worth the toil. You may even start confiding in someone else in an effort to seek that understanding you are so longing from your partner. You start to despise your them for their lack of understanding and begin to see all of their faults, which fuels bad feelings toward the one you once thought you loved.
What I’ve described is an absolute heart wrenching scenario, which unfortunately happens all the time. Nobody enjoys feeling this way and quite often, it can lead to affairs and more than likely, break ups and divorce.

However, with a little understanding of how successful relationships work and triggers to getting the best out of your relationship, you can recapture the romance you once shared. Unbelievably, you can start your relationship afresh – wipe the slate clean ‘so to speak’.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “shut the gate Kev”, it’s far too late for that. I’m telling you the truth. If you are willing to give it all you’ve got, no matter how far gone you believe it to be, there is still hope. TW Jackson’s little e-book ‘The Magic of Making Up’ is all you need to get things back on track. He reveals simple techniques to resolving problems in relationships. His teachings are somewhat unorthodox, but they really work. I wouldn’t be endorsing it otherwise.

If nothing else, here is what you will learn:

• What all woman “really” desire.
• The ‘sure fire way’ to bring the best out in your man.

You’ll learn a lot more than that too, but as far as I’m concerned, those two reasons alone are worth far more than the cost of this wonderful little e-book.

Just show me where I can get a hold of ‘The Magic of Making Up’.

The Relationship Solution

Go to www.magicofmakingup.com

The man behind the ‘Magic of Making Up’ e-book, TW Jackson, has helped literally thousands of couples from all over the world. This little e-book harnesses a wealth of information that gives real solutions to those who want to stop a looming breakup or divorce. There is virtually a relationship solution for every possible problem. Even if the situation seems incurable, there is still hope. You will find simple step by step techniques on exactly what to do and say to win your loved one back in your arms. That’s right, you will be empowered to live a life filled with love once again.

All relationships have there good times and bad. Some of those times can be downright more difficult than the others. Over time our emotions and feeling for each other can change as well. It may seem as though you are the only one contributing to this relationship. This is a tragic situation that no-one likes to be in. It just plain sucks! Especially when all trust goes out the door and you suspect your being lied to. That is incredibly heart breaking and is not healthy for either of you. If only you could just turn back the clock; back to when everything was fresh, exciting and new. If only you could relive the days when you enjoyed spending each and every moment together.

The harsh reality is that time changes people. Relationships can be likened to a journey that has its meadows, mountainous regions and valleys. Lying and fighting do not make things better. The question you need to ask yourself is this: Do you want to make it work or do you want to end it? If your answer is to make it work, then you need the advice contained in the ‘Magic of Making Up’. The knowledge you will garner from this small, but very intuitive book will give you the tool kit necessary for understanding relationships. Recapture the heart and soul of your loved one and continue on your journey together to even better heights and places yet unknown.

Yes! I want to make it work. Take me to ‘The Magic of Making Up’.